I like to write about music, culture, weird human stuff, and anything old or haunted.

I love to put myself at great personal risk to deliver takes on millennial trends and I also like any story that allows me to lurk around Los Angeles.

​I've been published in StyleCaster Magazine and self-published pretty much everywhere else. 

I Asked My Parents For Love Advice, And Here's What They Said. 

An interview with my high school sweetheart parents about what makes a relationship that lasts decades. 

Dude, F*ck Arugula

I got paid actual human money to black out and spew a tirade against the Hans Gruber of salad bases.

What the hell even happens at a Convention For Pet Influencers?

I write about my experience wandering around PetCon, meeting the Bush's Baked Beans Dog, shaking paws with an actual clone, and meeting 2 Chainz' dog Trappy Goyard. 

A Beginner's Guide to the catio trend

I talked to the people building trendy porches for their feline friends.

Luke P. Can Eat My Shorts

An anti-homage to the villain that reminded me most of That Guy From Youth Group. 

​​Your Grandma’s Favorite Pastime Is a Hit Among the Digital Generation

As this old timey hobby gets a second life as a Millennial style touchstone, I talked to several artists on why they stitch and why these hoops have captured Instagram's heart. 

How To Win At Cat Yoga

Cat Yoga is a battlefield, don't get it twisted. For this Stylecaster piece I headed into the field to collect the best tips for you to emerge victorious. 

How To Throw Yourself The Perfect Winter Bath

I finally got to put my years of accumulated bath wisdom to good use with this piece for StyleCaster.

history's Most Fashionable Ghosts (And Fall Pieces They Would've Loved)

An absolutely bananas piece I still can't believe StyleCaster allowed me to write about some of my favorite ghosts and the accessories they'd wear if they could wear things rather than just phasing through them all ghost-like. 

I'm Obsessed With Leaving Evidence Around That I Existed.

A personal essay I published on Medium about personal artifacts and being constantly convinced you're about to be wiped from existence. 

I  Tried  Making  Instagrammable  Smoothie  Bowls  for  a  Week,  and  It  Went  Poorly

A harrowing chronical of the time I attempted to murder myself with smoothies for the sake of public spectacle. Thanks Stylecaster!